Why we feel discomfort


I started to feel unsettled the day I was due to leave Bali. The 9 days proceeding, I had been connected to such a deep state of presence, relaxed and at ease in my body. Comfortable in my feelings while on holiday, and open to them flowing in and out freely as they needed. Something felt different that last day though, there was a nervousness running through my cells. The inability to let go (felt deeply in my muscles), and apprehension around the thought of flying back to my old life in Sydney. So much had shifted for me on an internal level while away, the thought of going back to the way things were had me feeling anxious and uncomfortable.

This anxiety penetrated me that day. Making it impossible for me to be fully present with myself and with those around me. I allowed the feeling to carry me into a place that was by no means an ideal way to end my holiday. Uptight and disconnected.

This feeling of unsettled discomfort is such a natural state within the process of change and transformation. It’s also quite possibly the most difficult feeling to be present with. Personally I would much rather feel uncontrollable grief or sadness, than be with discomfort.

Grief, sadness, pain, joy, love - they are all familiar to me. Emotions I have experienced time and time again. I know them like the back of my hands and welcome their presence in my life, in whatever way they deem fit.

Discomfort is different though. It sits outside the realm of our standard state of emotions. Not one or the other, neither here nor there. It feels unsettling because it indicates a complete lack of being settled in where we are at. The inability to land fully in our present state of emotion, and resistance in moving into our next state of being.

Discomfort and change are friends, they walk hand in hand down the road of transformation. One does not venture far from the other, because they are inextricably tied to one another.

Discomfort can be present before, during and after change, woven throughout our processing as we settle fully into new ways of being.

Discomfort can be felt when a shift within our current state has occurred internally, yet the shift has not been fully realised in all other areas in our life. Our soul has expanded and the container of our material world no longer fits us perfectly. We’re bumping up against the edges of this container, and things are no longer cosy like they were before. We’re starting to feel the pressure.

We can feel it when we are in an unfulfilling relationship, stuck in a joyless job, or even within a belief pattern that is no longer serving us. Discomfort in this instance indicates that we are not in alignment with our truth.

We can feel it when change is present, when our external environment is starting to shift in reflection to our inner state. Things are uncertain, unfamiliar and new, and we’re not quite sure exactly where we stand yet.

Sometimes we can even feel it after change has occurred. When we feel the familiar tug of our former selves, tempting us with the comfort of how we use to be.

So what do we do when discomfort enters our world?

If you’re like me you’re probably hoping there’s a step-by-step process to eradicating discomfort from your life entirely. Although I wish this were the case, the truth is there will never be a time in our lives when we don’t feel discomfort on some level.

Discomfort is natural and when we resist its presence in our lives we add fuel to the flame. We make the experience even more uncomfortable because we are unwilling to accept it.

Accepting our circumstances and surrendering to our current state of being, is key.

By surrendering to our discomfort we allow ourselves to be with our feelings long enough to realise their transient nature within our bodies. We allow our presence to land fully in the moment, and we nurture a relationship with discomfort so that it too becomes familiar to us.

Like so many other things, we fear what we do not know. Discomfort is no different.

My challenge for you is to show courage in the face of discomfort. Welcome it, sit with it, breathe into it, and experience it. I promise you darling, you will inevitably move through it.

If you’d like support in moving through your own discomfort or other challenging emotions, please get in touch, I’d love to hear from you.

In love, light and magic,


Image Credit: Fi Mims Photography