The Spirit Sister Companion: Self-Love Sneak Peek!


Well my darlings, tomorrow is an extra special Wednesday indeed as it marks the launch of my very first eBook, The Spirit Sister Companion! Spirits are running high over at my place and I'm just bursting with excitement at the thought of finally sharing this with you.

Because I absolutely couldn't resist (and I'm sure you're dying to get a glimpse of what's inside), I've decided to share one of the 8 lessons with you on the blog. This will give you a little taster of what you can expect.

Think simple lessons, plenty of helpful tips and practices, and soul inspiring mantras, all round off with a healthy dose of perspective (I'll tell it to you straight in the most real and loving way).

This chapter on self-love would have to be one of my favourites from the companion. It's such an important cornerstone in any spiritual (or non-spiritual) practice.

I can't wait to here your thoughts!



Love is undoubtedly one of the most desirable feelings of the human experience. Yet ironically the giving and receiving of love seems to be a challenging process for many, both internally and externally.

Love is an ever-present force. Your ability to experience love ultimately comes down to one thing, whether or not you are open to it. The easiest way to determine whether you are open to love is to ask yourself this simple question.

Is my love based on expectations, rules or conditions?

Love at its essence is unconditional. Every time you place an expectation, rule or condition on something or someone, you are actively blocking the flow of love in your life. When you are truly open and receptive to this flow, nothing can stand in loves way as it permeates every aspect of your being.

Sadly we have been raised in a culture that until quite recently did not fully acknowledge the self as a worthy target for one’s own love. Even now, as women, we are constantly told to put another’s needs above our own, even if it means compromising ourselves in the process.

Through this constant belittlement we have never truly learnt to love ourselves, and self-love continues to be ever elusive. It remains a concept that many of us have been unable to embody or ever truly understand.



Many women struggle to love themselves for the pure fact that they continue to give others an unfair advantage. To practice true self-love requires you to see yourself as equal to others, because the truth is honey, you are.

Do you value yourself in the same way you would value another? And if not, why?

We are all born as equals yet somewhere along the line we have learnt that to be worthy of love and acceptance we need to continuously prove ourselves through our accomplishments and achievements. However, just because we’ve learnt this doesn’t make it true.

The truth is you never needed to do or be anyone to be worthy of love. You were born worthy.

When you realise this truth you can begin to move forward with your life in a truly loving way.

What does this look like?

When you truly love yourself you start to take action forward in a positive way. You begin to prioritise your own needs by setting healthy boundaries and caring for yourself in a supportive and loving way. You start to become your own best friend.



Think of someone you hold very near to your heart. It could be a good friend, lover or even a family member. Chances are this person means a lot to you. You probably shower them with love and are incredibly kind to them.

Take some time to explore all the ways you show this person love. Perhaps it’s through the support you show them, a kind gesture, compliment, or gift.

Grab a piece of paper and write down all your acts of love.

Reread your list. Look at all the fantastic things you do to make your loved one know how special they are to you. It’s a truly beautiful thing, devoting your time and energy in this way to make someone feel appreciated, respected and loved.

Now wouldn’t it be wonderful if the way we treated ourselves reflected the way we treat our loved ones!

Imagine how different life would be if you were kind to yourself in this way?
Imagine how supported you would feel if you knew you could count on yourself for love?
Imagine how incredible you would feel if you could see yourself through the eyes of love, in the same way you would look upon your best friend?

Your challenge now is to be your own best friend for the next 7 days (and beyond!). Committing to at least 1 loving action a day, that reflects this beautiful new relationship with self.

On a new piece of paper jot down your all your actions as a daily reminder. You can use your first list as inspiration or come up with some new acts of love specifically designed for you!

TIP: Keep the magic alive by asking yourself the simple question “what would love do?” every time you feel you’re being hard on yourself, beating yourself up or letting your nasty inner critic take over.



Compile a list of all the activities, practices and rituals that play a part in making you feel awesome day in, day out. Try your hand at brainstorming some new ideas and combine the two to create your very own self-love (or care) checklist. Print out your checklist and refer to it often, either as a daily practice or something you call upon when you need a special pick me up. It’s a sure-fire way to brighten your day!


“I choose to deeply and completely love and accept myself”.