Playing games with the Ego: How to handle your inner critic


I’ve been under the weather this week. Nothing too serious, but it’s been enough to zap my energy and make me feel incapable of doing anything overly strenuous. In an attempt to shake up the stagnant energy and get my body moving, I decided to go for a walk down to the beach this afternoon. The sun was shining and I thought the sunshine and the fresh air would do wonders for making me feel better.

As I was walking I hit the point in the headland that takes me down to the beach - I like to call this the point of no return, as once I start walking down the headland I’ve mentally committed to doing the whole beach walk.

I felt the slightest inkling of hesitation as I looked down upon the beach.

Now I’ve become quite skilled in reading the signs of my body, so normally when a feeling as subtle as this creeps in I take it as a sign from my intuition that I need to correct or change paths.

A part of me was unsure if committing to the whole beach walk was going to be too much for me given I was sick. I didn’t know if I was up for it and I honestly didn’t feel like pushing myself today.

Instead of intuitively stopping and turning around like I normally would in this situation, my feet continued to walk. I don’t like to mess with what my body is telling me. When it says stop, I halt. When it says move, I follow suit. I took the fact that I continued to move regardless of the hesitation as a sign that I needed to keep walking.

As my body intuitively wanted to keep moving, I realised that the hesitation must have been coming from another place. I’m sure you know the place I’m talking about. It’s one of fear, doubt and powerlessness, and our friend the Ego is the one running the show in that place.

I’m certain you’ve all experienced this at one point or another. The voice of your Ego, that inner critic that tells you you don’t have the strength, you’re incapable, or that you’re not good enough.

I must admit the visits are far and few between, but every now and then - normally when my vibes are a little lower -  it decides to show up.

Almost immediately the words “Ego says” popped into my head and I giggled to myself. This phrase is a part of a little game I’ve started to play with myself whenever my Ego decides to pipe up these days.

The problem I see many of my friends and clients face is that once they start to become conscious and aware of their thought patterns, they realise how damn often this little voice likes to chime in. Often this awareness is met with even more criticism, judgement and resistance which tends to only make matters worse.  

In all fairness it’s not your Ego’s fault. It’s main aim is to keep you safe and it continues to draw on your past experiences and beliefs to form these judgements regarding whether you can handle a situation or not.

But where most people go wrong is that they despise the presence of their Ego, rather than just taking it for what it is; the voice of your shadow, the parts of you that have been hurt, rejected or shunned in the past.

These parts of you do not need to experience more rejection, in fact the only thing that can actually heal these aspects is the presence of love.

Now I know when you’re knee deep in judgement and mean inner talk, showing yourself some love seems almost certainly impossible. You’ve spiralled downward into a vortex of negativity and it takes more than what you can muster up to start moving in the opposite direction again.

That’s why I like to play games like this.

Bringing a sense of humour into the equation diffuses the initial Ego thought and ensures that I don’t continue to spiral down the path of negative self talk.

I don’t resist, suppress or deny the thought, in fact I make a point to fully acknowledge it. But in doing so I also acknowledge the silliness of what it has said and that it may not neccessarily be the truth of the matter.

Another mistake many make is in believing every single thought the Ego tells us.

Just because you think something does not make it the truth.

In our absolute truth we are capable of everything and there is nothing we are not deserving of. If something (or somebody) tells you otherwise it has been influenced or affected by past conditioning, beliefs and experiences in some way.

The reason these games are so effective is because reaching a point of humour can be far more attainable than love or gratitude when you’re already feeling low. Engaging in humour in a playful way also happens to be a fast track to joy.

It enables us to swing momentum back in the direction of positive thought patterns even though we may not be fully there yet.

Since I began to play these games with the Ego, I’m noticing its presence less and less in my life. It may still be showing up however because I diffuse the negativity immediately it almost becomes a non event that I can move on from quickly.

So my challenge for you is to start getting playful with this. The next time that mean inner voice tells you you’re not good enough, make it your mission to cheekily remind it how silly it’s actually being. Let’s put an end the seriousness of soul growth and infuse some fun back into things.

After all, they don’t call it the game of life for nothing.

In love light and magic,