8 Simple Tips for Understanding your Dreams

8 Simple Tips for Understanding your Dreams

I remember the first and only time I astral travelled. To anyone else it might have felt like a dream, but as a 6 year old it couldn’t have felt more real. So real in fact that when I awoke, I tried to recreate the scene by running down the very hallway I’d flown around in my dream. Much to my confusion and disappointment, I was never able to get off the ground!

To this day I’m still not certain if it was in fact just a vivid dream, or if I really did astral travel that night. Regardless, encountering this profound dreamlike experience at such a young age, peaked a passionate interest in understanding and uncovering what is really going on when we dream.

Entering the Moon: A Ritual for Release

Entering the Moon: A Ritual for Release

The arrival of my moon cycle as a teen was neither welcomed nor condemned. The day it arrived I was set to leave for a seaside holiday and my grandma’s. Although it was exciting to have finally “come of age”, understandably the timing couldn’t have been more awkward. My mum was wonderful that day, she had thoroughly prepared me for this moment and made such a fuss over celebrating it.

Everything started off well...

What's in a Name?

What's in a Name?

I never identified with the name Jessica in its solidarity.

It's weird how one word can sit so strangely with you, but when people call me Jessica it feels foreign. It's like they don't know me at all, or have just called out to a stranger.

As a child I went by the name Jessie, a cute nickname for a messy bush child with tangled hair. I carried it through my primary school years and grew rather fond of this name. That is until I started high school and decided it was time to grow up and be a big kid now.

The Second Dark Night

The Second Dark Night

I remember my first dark night of the soul.

It was a slow descent, down into the murky depths of my own darkness. It happened gradually over time, chipping away at my light. I never saw it coming and didn’t truly realise where I was until it had consumed me. It remains the single most challenging period of my life and is a time I don’t desire to dwell on often.

Why we feel discomfort

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I started to feel unsettled the day I was due to leave Bali. The 9 days proceeding, I had been connected to such a deep state of presence, relaxed and at ease in my body. Comfortable in my feelings while on holiday, and open to them flowing in and out freely as they needed. Something felt different that last day though, there was a nervousness running through my cells. The inability to let go (felt deeply in my muscles), and apprehension around the thought of flying back to my old life in Sydney. So much had shifted for me on an internal level while away, the thought of going back to the way things were had me feeling anxious and uncomfortable.

This anxiety penetrated me that day. Making it impossible for me to be fully present with myself and with those around me. I allowed the feeling to carry me into a place that was by no means an ideal way to end my holiday. Uptight and disconnected.

This feeling of unsettled discomfort is such a natural state within the process of change and transformation. It’s also quite possibly the most difficult feeling to be present with. Personally I would much rather feel uncontrollable grief or sadness, than be with discomfort.

Grief, sadness, pain, joy, love - they are all familiar to me. Emotions I have experienced time and time again. I know them like the back of my hands and welcome their presence in my life, in whatever way they deem fit.

Discomfort is different though. It sits outside the realm of our standard state of emotions. Not one or the other, neither here nor there. It feels unsettling because it indicates a complete lack of being settled in where we are at. The inability to land fully in our present state of emotion, and resistance in moving into our next state of being.

Discomfort and change are friends, they walk hand in hand down the road of transformation. One does not venture far from the other, because they are inextricably tied to one another.

Discomfort can be present before, during and after change, woven throughout our processing as we settle fully into new ways of being.

Discomfort can be felt when a shift within our current state has occurred internally, yet the shift has not been fully realised in all other areas in our life. Our soul has expanded and the container of our material world no longer fits us perfectly. We’re bumping up against the edges of this container, and things are no longer cosy like they were before. We’re starting to feel the pressure.

We can feel it when we are in an unfulfilling relationship, stuck in a joyless job, or even within a belief pattern that is no longer serving us. Discomfort in this instance indicates that we are not in alignment with our truth.

We can feel it when change is present, when our external environment is starting to shift in reflection to our inner state. Things are uncertain, unfamiliar and new, and we’re not quite sure exactly where we stand yet.

Sometimes we can even feel it after change has occurred. When we feel the familiar tug of our former selves, tempting us with the comfort of how we use to be.

So what do we do when discomfort enters our world?

If you’re like me you’re probably hoping there’s a step-by-step process to eradicating discomfort from your life entirely. Although I wish this were the case, the truth is there will never be a time in our lives when we don’t feel discomfort on some level.

Discomfort is natural and when we resist its presence in our lives we add fuel to the flame. We make the experience even more uncomfortable because we are unwilling to accept it.

Accepting our circumstances and surrendering to our current state of being, is key.

By surrendering to our discomfort we allow ourselves to be with our feelings long enough to realise their transient nature within our bodies. We allow our presence to land fully in the moment, and we nurture a relationship with discomfort so that it too becomes familiar to us.

Like so many other things, we fear what we do not know. Discomfort is no different.

My challenge for you is to show courage in the face of discomfort. Welcome it, sit with it, breathe into it, and experience it. I promise you darling, you will inevitably move through it.

If you’d like support in moving through your own discomfort or other challenging emotions, please get in touch, I’d love to hear from you.

In love, light and magic,

jess-sign-off
jess-sign-off

Image Credit: Fi Mims Photography

An aligned life: The importance of truth

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Alignment and truth. These two words hold a wealth of meaning, are both inextricably linked to one another, and provide a guiding light when it comes to living a completely fulfilling and whole life.

Although I’m sure you’re already aware of their standard dictionary meaning. Today I wanted to talk to you about their meaning in the context of energy and spiritual growth.

Let’s begin with truth…

Truth relates to the essence of who you really are.

It is your highest potential as a soul and is the most pure form of expression possible in this Universe. Your expression of truth travels beyond time and space, and is continuous throughout every lifetime, including the one you are currently living.

Truth is the highest possible vibrational state. When we exist from a place of truth, we vibrate at the frequency of peace, joy and unconditional love.

When we are born into this world we are born perfect, balanced and whole. At the time of our birth, as new souls of the world, we are already aware of our own divinity and perfection. Yet through the process of life we are led to believe that we are anything but perfect.

This is where alignment comes in.

As we travel through the experiences that make us feel incomplete and unworthy, our centre of balance and wholeness is pushed out of whack.

I like to imagine energetic alignment physically through the body. Most notably down the middle of the spine, running in accordance with the body’s chakra system. A pillar of stability and strength, that grounds who we are into our experience.

Every time we experience something that knocks us out of alignment, our energy literally gets thrown outside of our energy field and our power is placed in the external world. We start the unconscious process of chipping away and removing pieces from our internal pillar of strength.

The more frequently this happens, the more unbalanced we become. As this occurs our level of spiritual disconnection increases, and the seeds of unhappiness are sewn.

Moving out of alignment is not a pleasant state being. This unpleasantness comes from the process of moving further and further away from the essence of who we really are. We experience the pain of disconnection from ourselves, as well as the disharmony this imbalance brings to our lives.

The blessing in all of this is that when it comes to alignment, the pendulum swings both ways. Every moment we are presented with the opportunity to choose how we live.

We alone decide whether our actions, thoughts and feelings honestly reflect our soul’s truth.

When we have gained momentum in one direction, changing directions suddenly can feel impossible. And although this definitely isn’t impossible when the desire is great enough, it can often be easier taking baby steps in the other direction. In doing so, slowly stepping back into a state of alignment, gathering momentum in the direction of truth.

Aligning with truth requires you to be deeply honest with yourself. You need to get real about where you are out of alignment and everything that is no longer serving your highest good. This can be an incredibly confronting process at times and requires persistence, strength, courage and support.

Honesty starts with establishing the connection back to your truth, by opening to inner wisdom and allowing the contents of your heart to make itself known to you. You can begin this process by asking yourself the following questions:

What actions feel true to me?
Where in my life am I out of alignment with my needs?
What is one thing I could do today that would move me in the direction of truth?

If you’re ready to dive even deeper into the process of realigning with your truth, I’d love to hear from you!

Through private 1:1 mentoring sessions I support women through the process of energetic realignment, self-exploration and spiritual practice, guiding them home to a place of harmony within their body, energy and life.

I believe aligning with your own truth is one of - if not the most - important spiritual journeys you will embark on in a lifetime. However just because it's important does not mean it has to difficult or complicated. Although this process can be challenging at times, there is also a beautiful simplicity present in releasing the illusions surrounding truth by fully embodying all that you are.

Non-truth melts away, and what remains is free to shine bolder and brighter than ever before.

In love, light and magic,

jess-sign-off

Emotional mastery: Recognising your triggers

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I’ve always felt a strong pull towards working with emotions. I remember working through feeling based meditations, recommended to me by my life coach, in the weeks surrounding my awakening. All the while feeling rather clueless as I stumbled through the practices. At that stage I couldn’t really grasp the importance of what I was doing, but something about the process of sitting with my body and tuning into my feeling center was strangely seductive and appealed to this spiritual novice.

Fast forward two and half years and the process of emotional alchemy and body based energy work have become the cornerstones of my personal practice. Truth be told I find it all completely fascinating!

I wrote about the process of working through your emotions in my new ebook (free for my email tribe), but I really wanted to touch on a different aspect of the emotional landscape with you today.

That being, emotional triggers.

Emotional triggers are quite possibly even more confusing than emotions themselves. Your triggers are the pathways to old emotional wounds that can cause you to react and respond to a situation. In most cases this results in an unconscious behavioural pattern playing out, often resulting in world war three taking place between you and your loved ones.

Emotional triggers can be uncomfortable and are often nasty to deal with, mainly because they are the catalyst for releasing repressed emotions.

More often than not, the emotions we repress are the ones that are unfamiliar to us or that cause us pain. So needless to say any situation that triggers an emotional response of this kind, probably isn’t going to have you feeling all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

After what seemed like yet another trigger filled conversation with my ex partner, I took some time out today to call my energy back in and journal about these emotional triggers that continued to come up for me in his presence. My ex partner and I still share a lot of love for each other and have remained in each others lives; however to this day he continues to be the person that triggers me more than anyone else in my life.

Some may question my sanity for continuing to sustain a relationship like this, however I couldn’t be more grateful for this man’s presence in my life.

Every trigger I experience with him has provided me with the motive to dive deeper into my own internal landscape, peeling back the layers on the emotional wounds I still hold deep within, in order to heal. These are the wounds created from all the painful events I experienced and repressed over the course of my life, through my relationships with my father and previous partners.

In my personal experience I feel that when it comes to triggers, the more you care about a person and the depth of the emotional wound, both play a large part in determining how you react to a situation.

I believe everyone has a core set of emotional wounds; wounds created in the past - often during childhood - that pertain to a particular area of a person’s life. When these emotions are triggered, we start to see explosive unconscious reactions and outbursts. Think temper tantrums, aggression or even emotional withdrawal.

In most of my relationships I feel I have been able to successfully master these situations. Normally having the ability to diffuse the trigger, preventing an unconscious pattern from rearing it’s ugly head while remaining non-reactive.

However things start to get rather interesting for me when it comes to relationships involving men, particularly those I have been romantically involved with.

My core wounds centre around my relationship with masculine energy, so naturally this is going to be something that comes up very often for me when I am with a partner.

The deeper the wound, the longer it takes to heal.

Each wound is formed during an uncomfortable or painful personal experience; every situation that triggers the emotions associated with the experience adds to the size of the wound.

As you could imagine, as a woman in her late twenties, the wounds I carry regarding my relationship with the masculine run pretty damn deep.

The good news is, with awareness comes healing. One of the most important steps to mastering your emotions is in recognising situations that trigger you as they arise.

When you recognise the cause of a trigger, you are consciously reclaiming your power by choosing how to respond to a situation rather than unconsciously reacting.

The next time you react in a situation, take a step back afterwards and honestly ask yourself why you responded in the way you did. The answer might not be apparent at first but if you spend some time with it and dig deep enough, you can often uncover the root cause.

A prime example of this is a common communication breakdown that can occur in relationships and has on many occasions happened to me...

In the past when I would ask my ex partner a question, he would often ignore me because he was focused on something else. Some men tend to be task oriented, focusing on one task or thing at a time. Him ignoring me unconsciously triggered a painful emotional memory of being ignored by my father as a child. Through that trigger I relived the pain of my past through my present experience and reacted from a place of hurt at not being seen. He wondered why I was so worked up and the wound deepened because the cause of the trigger was left unconscious and unresolved.

Through awareness I was able to resolve the problems this trigger caused. Once I had consciously recognised where the pain came from, I no longer felt like I needed to react in the way I had. Instead I would touch my ex’s arm if I needed to get his attention or ask him something, that way he could shift his focus onto me instead of elsewhere.

Recognising your triggers can be helpful in any form of relationship, whether it be friendships, family or even those you work with. Cultivating this awareness can vastly improve the quality of your relationships and intimate connections, while aiding in your own personal growth and overall wellbeing.

If you’re struggling with remaining aware through a trigger, using the process above can help you become more familiar with your triggers. Eventually you will start to notice the triggers as they arise, rather than needing to revisit them after they pass.

Do you have a recurring trigger that seems to constantly come up for you? Please share away in the comments below! These insights hold a very important key in determining the best path forward in order to achieve emotional freedom and mastery.

In love, light and magic,

jess-sign-off

The Spirit Sister Companion: Self-Love Sneak Peek!

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Well my darlings, tomorrow is an extra special Wednesday indeed as it marks the launch of my very first eBook, The Spirit Sister Companion! Spirits are running high over at my place and I'm just bursting with excitement at the thought of finally sharing this with you.

Because I absolutely couldn't resist (and I'm sure you're dying to get a glimpse of what's inside), I've decided to share one of the 8 lessons with you on the blog. This will give you a little taster of what you can expect.

Think simple lessons, plenty of helpful tips and practices, and soul inspiring mantras, all round off with a healthy dose of perspective (I'll tell it to you straight in the most real and loving way).

This chapter on self-love would have to be one of my favourites from the companion. It's such an important cornerstone in any spiritual (or non-spiritual) practice.

I can't wait to here your thoughts!

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SELF-LOVE

Love is undoubtedly one of the most desirable feelings of the human experience. Yet ironically the giving and receiving of love seems to be a challenging process for many, both internally and externally.

Love is an ever-present force. Your ability to experience love ultimately comes down to one thing, whether or not you are open to it. The easiest way to determine whether you are open to love is to ask yourself this simple question.

Is my love based on expectations, rules or conditions?

Love at its essence is unconditional. Every time you place an expectation, rule or condition on something or someone, you are actively blocking the flow of love in your life. When you are truly open and receptive to this flow, nothing can stand in loves way as it permeates every aspect of your being.

Sadly we have been raised in a culture that until quite recently did not fully acknowledge the self as a worthy target for one’s own love. Even now, as women, we are constantly told to put another’s needs above our own, even if it means compromising ourselves in the process.

Through this constant belittlement we have never truly learnt to love ourselves, and self-love continues to be ever elusive. It remains a concept that many of us have been unable to embody or ever truly understand.

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HONOURING YOUR OWN WORTH

Many women struggle to love themselves for the pure fact that they continue to give others an unfair advantage. To practice true self-love requires you to see yourself as equal to others, because the truth is honey, you are.

Do you value yourself in the same way you would value another? And if not, why?

We are all born as equals yet somewhere along the line we have learnt that to be worthy of love and acceptance we need to continuously prove ourselves through our accomplishments and achievements. However, just because we’ve learnt this doesn’t make it true.

The truth is you never needed to do or be anyone to be worthy of love. You were born worthy.

When you realise this truth you can begin to move forward with your life in a truly loving way.

What does this look like?

When you truly love yourself you start to take action forward in a positive way. You begin to prioritise your own needs by setting healthy boundaries and caring for yourself in a supportive and loving way. You start to become your own best friend.

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BE YOUR ON BEST FRIEND: 7 DAY CHALLENGE

Think of someone you hold very near to your heart. It could be a good friend, lover or even a family member. Chances are this person means a lot to you. You probably shower them with love and are incredibly kind to them.

Take some time to explore all the ways you show this person love. Perhaps it’s through the support you show them, a kind gesture, compliment, or gift.

Grab a piece of paper and write down all your acts of love.

Reread your list. Look at all the fantastic things you do to make your loved one know how special they are to you. It’s a truly beautiful thing, devoting your time and energy in this way to make someone feel appreciated, respected and loved.

Now wouldn’t it be wonderful if the way we treated ourselves reflected the way we treat our loved ones!

Imagine how different life would be if you were kind to yourself in this way?
Imagine how supported you would feel if you knew you could count on yourself for love?
Imagine how incredible you would feel if you could see yourself through the eyes of love, in the same way you would look upon your best friend?

Your challenge now is to be your own best friend for the next 7 days (and beyond!). Committing to at least 1 loving action a day, that reflects this beautiful new relationship with self.

On a new piece of paper jot down your all your actions as a daily reminder. You can use your first list as inspiration or come up with some new acts of love specifically designed for you!

TIP: Keep the magic alive by asking yourself the simple question “what would love do?” every time you feel you’re being hard on yourself, beating yourself up or letting your nasty inner critic take over.

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CREATE YOUR SELF-LOVE CHECKLIST

Compile a list of all the activities, practices and rituals that play a part in making you feel awesome day in, day out. Try your hand at brainstorming some new ideas and combine the two to create your very own self-love (or care) checklist. Print out your checklist and refer to it often, either as a daily practice or something you call upon when you need a special pick me up. It’s a sure-fire way to brighten your day!

Mantra

“I choose to deeply and completely love and accept myself”.

Kali: Embracing the Goddess of Transformation

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You may be wondering where the name Kali comes from.

Kali. The messenger of change. The bringer of death, destruction, rebirth and transformation.

Kali is in fact my middle name. It seems rather fitting given the type of work I have gravitated towards, that my mother named me after this Hindu goddess.

Kali the - often misunderstood - goddess of death and rebirth, signals a revolution of change.

Since embarking on the journey of personal and spiritual discovery, Kali’s presences has been a constant in my life. Weaving her way through my experiences. Calling me to step up and out of the false illusions and more deeply into my truth.

Though her calls to me are constant, certain periods of transformation have been known to invoke her presence more strongly than others.

This is one of those times.

I have become fluent in reading the tides of my emotions. Fluid in riding the flow of my moods to maximise my energy levels. And today it became clear to me that Kali was demanding I honour her presence in my life right now.

Hauled up in my room, shut away from the world, the call for stillness and introspection was too loud to ignore. I had no other option but to turn inward and feel into whatever was present in this space.

The questions started to stream in.

What has been blocking my flow?

Where am I not embodying my truth?

What is no longer serving me?

What do I need to let go of?

How can I create more space to welcome in the new?

Like the serpent, I have shed my skin many times. In this lifetime, 3 occasions in particular clearly stand out as pivotal moments in my history. Each time I was called to dissolve and release the person I was, in order to be born again to become the present version of myself.

Since my trip to Peru, these shifts have become smaller, more frequent moments. Though given the current energy surrounding me, I can tell that another larger transformation is on it’s way.

 

 

WHAT TO DO WHEN KALI BECKONS YOU WITH HER CALL

Kali is not one to be feared. Though her energy may be fearsome and somewhat destructive at times, her message is simple. A death in some form is essential if you are to be reborn.

Yes, the change that comes with this rebirth can be terrifying at times. So terrifying that we cling to the old structures, beliefs and relationships that no longer support us and the growth we desire.

Ultimately though, the only way out is through.

Above all, Kali calls for us to surrender. Though we may resist her call at first, she continues to return reminding us that there is no other option. We can deny our truth, but we can never avoid it. Truth is the only path forward that allows us to fully and deeply embody all that we are and all that we have the potential to become.

So when Kali comes a knockin’ at your door, do not shy away from her power and importance. Welcome her in with gracious and open arms allowing her a place within your soul.

Acknowledge and embrace her presence so that she may finally begin to weave her magic, sewing the seeds of transformation in your life, birthing you anew.

In love, light and magic,

jess-sign-off

 

[Image - Edited by Jessica Kali]

Playing games with the Ego: How to handle your inner critic

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I’ve been under the weather this week. Nothing too serious, but it’s been enough to zap my energy and make me feel incapable of doing anything overly strenuous. In an attempt to shake up the stagnant energy and get my body moving, I decided to go for a walk down to the beach this afternoon. The sun was shining and I thought the sunshine and the fresh air would do wonders for making me feel better.

As I was walking I hit the point in the headland that takes me down to the beach - I like to call this the point of no return, as once I start walking down the headland I’ve mentally committed to doing the whole beach walk.

I felt the slightest inkling of hesitation as I looked down upon the beach.

Now I’ve become quite skilled in reading the signs of my body, so normally when a feeling as subtle as this creeps in I take it as a sign from my intuition that I need to correct or change paths.

A part of me was unsure if committing to the whole beach walk was going to be too much for me given I was sick. I didn’t know if I was up for it and I honestly didn’t feel like pushing myself today.

Instead of intuitively stopping and turning around like I normally would in this situation, my feet continued to walk. I don’t like to mess with what my body is telling me. When it says stop, I halt. When it says move, I follow suit. I took the fact that I continued to move regardless of the hesitation as a sign that I needed to keep walking.

As my body intuitively wanted to keep moving, I realised that the hesitation must have been coming from another place. I’m sure you know the place I’m talking about. It’s one of fear, doubt and powerlessness, and our friend the Ego is the one running the show in that place.

I’m certain you’ve all experienced this at one point or another. The voice of your Ego, that inner critic that tells you you don’t have the strength, you’re incapable, or that you’re not good enough.

I must admit the visits are far and few between, but every now and then - normally when my vibes are a little lower -  it decides to show up.

Almost immediately the words “Ego says” popped into my head and I giggled to myself. This phrase is a part of a little game I’ve started to play with myself whenever my Ego decides to pipe up these days.

The problem I see many of my friends and clients face is that once they start to become conscious and aware of their thought patterns, they realise how damn often this little voice likes to chime in. Often this awareness is met with even more criticism, judgement and resistance which tends to only make matters worse.  

In all fairness it’s not your Ego’s fault. It’s main aim is to keep you safe and it continues to draw on your past experiences and beliefs to form these judgements regarding whether you can handle a situation or not.

But where most people go wrong is that they despise the presence of their Ego, rather than just taking it for what it is; the voice of your shadow, the parts of you that have been hurt, rejected or shunned in the past.

These parts of you do not need to experience more rejection, in fact the only thing that can actually heal these aspects is the presence of love.

Now I know when you’re knee deep in judgement and mean inner talk, showing yourself some love seems almost certainly impossible. You’ve spiralled downward into a vortex of negativity and it takes more than what you can muster up to start moving in the opposite direction again.

That’s why I like to play games like this.

Bringing a sense of humour into the equation diffuses the initial Ego thought and ensures that I don’t continue to spiral down the path of negative self talk.

I don’t resist, suppress or deny the thought, in fact I make a point to fully acknowledge it. But in doing so I also acknowledge the silliness of what it has said and that it may not neccessarily be the truth of the matter.

Another mistake many make is in believing every single thought the Ego tells us.

Just because you think something does not make it the truth.

In our absolute truth we are capable of everything and there is nothing we are not deserving of. If something (or somebody) tells you otherwise it has been influenced or affected by past conditioning, beliefs and experiences in some way.

The reason these games are so effective is because reaching a point of humour can be far more attainable than love or gratitude when you’re already feeling low. Engaging in humour in a playful way also happens to be a fast track to joy.

It enables us to swing momentum back in the direction of positive thought patterns even though we may not be fully there yet.

Since I began to play these games with the Ego, I’m noticing its presence less and less in my life. It may still be showing up however because I diffuse the negativity immediately it almost becomes a non event that I can move on from quickly.

So my challenge for you is to start getting playful with this. The next time that mean inner voice tells you you’re not good enough, make it your mission to cheekily remind it how silly it’s actually being. Let’s put an end the seriousness of soul growth and infuse some fun back into things.

After all, they don’t call it the game of life for nothing.

In love light and magic,

jess-sign-off

Awakening Intuition: My weekend with Belinda Davidson

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NOW THAT THE SHOCK (AND EXCITEMENT) FROM TWO WEEKS AGO HAS BEGUN TO DIE DOWN, I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME WITH ME TO MY WEEKEND AWAY WITH BELINDA DAVIDSON. Some of you may already know who I’m referring to or have heard me mention her name before. For those of you who are fresh on the scene, Belinda is the Queen of the Chakras here in Australia (or at least that’s what I like to call her) and happens to be one of my mentors.

I stumbled across Belinda’s work just after my spiritual awakening took place.

At the time I kept a close eye on her but resisted diving into her work as I just didn't feel ready (the amount of content surrounding me was a little overwhelming at that point). However fast forward a year to my arrival back in Sydney and at the last minute I was pulled by an undeniable force to sign up for her online program The School of the Modern Mystic (or SoMM as it’s affectionately referred to by it’s members).

I’m not sure what that pull was, hell at that time I didn’t even really know what the program was about, but something had begun to stir deep within me and that was around the time I began to say a big fat YES to anything that tugged at my heart strings.

It turns out signing up for SoMM was one of those life-shifting moments, as this was the course that really began to open me up to the magic of the chakras and the power of my own intuitive gifts.

Needless to say when I found out Belinda was teaching a two day intensive workshop on Advanced Energy Anatomy and Medical Intuition I absolutely jumped at the chance to learn from the master in person. At the workshop I was actually told I was one of the first people to snapple up an early bird ticket to the event (eager beaver? ‘fraid so!).

As expected the workshop did not disappoint.

Belinda’s practical and grounded approach to energy and intuitive work is easily digested and totally comprehensive. But most of all she is super practical and lays it all out for you straight, step by step (hallelujah, can I get an amen!). This woman really knows her stuff and is a total fountain of wisdom that I eagerly and unabashedly drank from.

My absolute highlight from the weekend (other than meeting many of my SoMM sisters in person) was having my energy field and chakras diagnosed by Belinda herself.

As you may already know I have a slight obsession with chakra work and am extremely dedicated to my practice. So standing up in front of the group and having Belinda confirm what I had already felt to be true around the state of my chakras was the confirmation I really needed to start trusting in my own inner guidance more.

Not only was I blown away by the fact that she could pinpoint the time frame around my spiritual awakening and individual chakra progress, but having someone of her knowledge and expertise tell me my chakras are looking great and to keep up the good work was beyond amazing (yes I was having a total fan girl moment ladies!).

Rather than giving you full blown run down of the workshop (sorry sisters, you’ll have to experience it for yourself) I’d love to share with you my key take away from the weekend regarding heightening your intuitive gifts.

How many of you are aware that awakening your psychic and intuitive gifts basically comes down to how dedicated you are to awakening your senses?

This was not by any means a new idea to me. In fact I’ve read similar information regarding psychic development on various blogs. In fact I was already starting to become more aware of my senses through my existing interest in tantra and mindful living.

However the place I feel I was falling short with this was that even though I was becoming more aware of my senses, I wasn’t actually working them.

I wasn’t flexing my intuitive muscles hard enough to see substantial results. I would equate this to going to the gym and holding the dumbbells in your hands but not actually using them. Sure you’re aware that they’re there and can feel them in your hands, but you’re not actually using them in the way they were intended.

All of our intuitive and psychic gifts come through one or more of our senses. These being; sight, sound, touch, taste, smell and feeling. It is through this heightened sensory awakening and development that we are able to accurately perceive all that is.

We all have the ability to develop our sensory skills far beyond the physical world, however most often people are so desensitised from their worlds that they are impervious to the subtle impressions they are already receiving. And in some cases (such as my own) they doubt and lack trust in their ability to accurately interpret what they have received.

As I mentioned previously Belinda is all about practicality, so you can bet your bottom dollar she sent our senses straight to work.

Thus the workshop element began! With partners we dove head first into energy field diagnosis and past life reading, many of us surprised by how accurate our impressions turned out to be. Most importantly though she really got us thinking about how we are receiving our guidance and impressions. After reflecting on the experience and her teachings I realised that my number one predominant sense is actually touch, not feeling or sound like I initially thought.

That realisation was a total game changer for me as once you become aware of your predominant intuitive sense, you start to become far more perceptive with that sense and begin to pick up even more.

The key thing to remember here though is that the impressions really are super subtle at first. Mindfulness and full body awareness are huge factors when it comes to discerning where the impressions are coming from, so getting still and centred goes a long way when it comes to developing in this area.

Have you ever thought about what your predominant intuitive sense is? Be sure to leave a comment below and let me know what you think it might be. Maybe you even have two or three, I know that’s the truth in my case.

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

In love, light and magic,

jess-sign-off

Dealing with Uncertainty

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Today I was planning on writing about my freaking stellar experience at Belinda Davidson’s Advanced Energy Anatomy and Medical Intuition workshop over the weekend. Though it appears that post will have to wait as life has other plans for me.

Yesterday I received a dose of somewhat shocking news. In short due to restructuring within the company my stable permanent role as a graphic designer is no longer needed.

Hearing those words, we’re going to have to let you go are pretty much right up there with majority of people’s worst nightmares. The panic quickly sets in and the thought of how exactly I’m going to pay my bills in a month takes the forefront.

Once again I’m faced with the uncertainty of not knowing what exactly lies ahead.

Even though at times I have willingly chosen to leave stable employment for a life of more freedom and flow, this was not at all a part of the plan I had envisioned for myself.

I wanted to move forward with my business at my own (admittedly slow) pace.

After getting over the initial shock of the situation I am beginning to see how much of a blessing this truly is for me.

A part of me was clinging onto that job for no other reason than it allowed me the freedom to work from home and supplied me with a steady paycheck.

However if I’m going to be completely honest with you I had grown tired months ago of the somewhat repetitive work that was no longer challenging me to think creatively. At times I had thought about moving on, however I think I was largely being held back by the fear of not being able to find something better if I left.

I had also been pushing out my business timeline, sacrificing what I really wanted for stability.

I had planned to continue like this for about another 6 months before moving into part time work, only working on my business after hours and on weekends so that I could save a little nest egg to fall back on. Though all the while there was a part of me that quietly resented my permanent job for taking so much time away from the things I was truly passionate about.

Although it happened in a somewhat shocking way I am by no means surprised by this.

I was sending out clear signs to the Universe that I wasn’t truly happy in that role, and with lightening speed the Universe delivered a cold hard dose of reality and gave me my marching orders “It’s time to step up!”.

Although it’s all well and good for me to be sharing these insights into my personal life, I am in fact sharing all this with you for a reason. So that you, like me, can learn something valuable from this experience.

Being thrust into unemployment made me seriously reevaluate exactly how I deal with uncertainty in my life. Mentally exploring all the ways I could make this experience the most heart-filled and nourishing transition into a situation that actually suits me better.

 

I want to share with you the practices I have undertaken in the past 24 hours to ensure that I’m off to a good start with this. The key focus being on looking after myself and keeping my vision firmly fixed on what exactly I want to create during this time and in the not too distant future.

+ Before I had even left the board room where it all went down, a lovely lady in our recruitment team (who is also a life coach!) helped my piece together my plan of attack. I wrote down 12 actions that I wanted to achieve over the coming days in regards to caring for myself and searching for new employment. This process helped bring me back to the present moment, deeply rooting me in what needed to be done rather than getting caught up in the fear around this situation.

+ When I got home I showered straight away. Having a hot shower or bath is a super effective way to help relax and release built up emotion. Connecting to the element of water in this way can help you improve the level of ease in your experience and encourages emotions to flow freely outward (hence the reason we cry tears!).

+ I made myself a yummy homemade chai. It’s a special treat of mine and I honestly haven’t found a chai I love better than the one I make at home. It's important to show yourself as much love as possible when you're dealing with shock and uncertainty, and for me this drink represents comfort and treating myself. A lot of internal processing occurs when heavy stuff like this goes down, so looking after my wellbeing through self love and care is by far my main priority.

+ I amped up my chakra balancing and meditation practice. While unemployed I’ve committed to twice daily chakra cleanses through my chakra yoga practice and Belinda Davidson’s chakra cleanse meditation. Both practices get my energy high vibing and that’s the frequency I want to be emitting to the Universe right now while I call in new work.

+ I contacted my support team (comprising of mum, sister and my two best friends). Regardless of how well I feel I’m coping with this huge change, it's important for me to feel supported by those I love in case any unexecpted or challenging emotions begin to arise.

+ I gave my office a spring clean. Making sure my office is looking lovely and super inviting is really important to me as I spend a lot of time at my desk. It was also a good chance for me to sage the area clearing any unwanted negative energy that may have been hanging around from my permanent job.

+ I've consciously decided to leave myself a few days to process everything before heading online to look for new employment. This is for two reasons. Firstly I'm prioritising my self care at the moment - I want to stay healthy and positive. Secondly I want to allow time for any internal guidance regarding my next steps to come through in my daily meditation practice.

 

Next on the chopping block I will be creating a vision board (to get super clear on what I want to bring into my life right now) as well as dedicating some serious time to writing my ebook (yep it's official, get excited!).

At present there is little fear within me around the whole issue of money (or lack thereof). I'm feeling a calmness and peace around this that makes me feel like I am completely and divinely supported in this experience.

If anything despite the uncertainty I am genuinely excited about the start of my next adventure into the unknown. It's another unexpected opportunity to stretch myself even further, continuing to add to my spiritual growth journey.

In light of all this, I will be opening up some additional spaces in my schedule for soul or chakra mentoring and freelance design clients. Up until now I have only be available on weeknights and weekends for this work, however moving forward I will be available what will most likely be on 2 weekdays as well.

If you're interested in working with me during this exciting time I'd love to hear from you! You can download my mentoring packages here, or alternatively shoot me an email at hello@jessicakali.com with any of your enquiries.

To finish off I'd have to say I've always been a big believer in looking out for divine signs from the Universe. The timing around this event couldn't have made things more clear to me that now really is the right time to dive head first into my business. Not in 6 months time like I initially thought, but right this very second.

Here's to embracing uncertainty and the wild unknown!

In love, light and magic,

jess-sign-off

Meditation 101: Making it work for you

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I remember the first time I was introduced to the concept of meditation. It was during year 9 sports class (I had chosen yoga of course!) and we were all in the library lying down after a very simple asana practice.

The teacher was relaying instructions to us which we were to follow, spending the next 20 minutes meditating to wind down after the class.

Like most students I took this precious time as a chance to have a rest from the stresses and pressure of being in high school.

I had no real understanding of meditation like I do now, and honestly I don’t think I was really that interested in finding out more.

At that age what I knew of meditation was that it was a process of trying to remove all thought from the mind (still a common misconception). It seemed like an impossible task so even though I tried a few times often I would just give up and spend the rest of the class having a nap.

The funny thing is this is often the approach that so many adults take in regards to meditation (the giving up part, not so much the napping!). They have a very rigid idea of what meditation is and isn’t, and as beings largely dominated by the thinking mind the idea of switching off all thought seems like an inconceivable feat.

 

SO WHAT IS MEDITATION EXACTLY...

According to the merriam-webster.com dictionary, to meditate is to spend time in quiet thought for religious purposes or relaxation.

I love this definition for two reasons. The emphasis is put on quiet thought (not complete silence as some may think) and relaxation.

To my knowledge for someone inexperienced in meditation (like pretty much every beginner ever) it is impossible to remove all thought from the mind. The whole idea of quieting the mind instead of silencing makes the whole process seem a lot more manageable (and enjoyable!).

Yes an experienced meditator can create a thought free, silent mind, however that doesn't mean you aren't meditating if you can't yet reach this state.

It is just one of the many different levels that exist during meditation. Like all new undertakings finding our zen inner monk is a gradual process that takes time, patience and persistence.

But my gosh is it worth it!

Other than the obvious benefits (reduced stress & anxiety, serenity, presence, clarity etc) my personal meditation practice has been the catalyst for profound healing and insights delivered straight from my higher self.

Quieting the mind in this way has created the certain stillness required to receive much needed inner guidance. Often this guidance shows up in the form of thoughts - which is why I personally don’t like the idea of silencing the mind completely otherwise you miss out on all those juicy insights!

Meditation doesn't have to be hard, it really is just about finding something that works for you.

In my opinion if your practice allows you to gain insight through stillness, calms your nerves and brings awareness back to the present moment, you're doing something very right!

 

MEDITATION DO'S & DON'TS

Do's

+ Do experiment: There is no one size fits all practice. Depending on what kind of person you are will depend on the type of practice that works best for you. I suggest trying out as many different techniques as you want until you find something that you really connect with and want to continue practicing.

+ Do find a quiet space: This is especially important starting out. Taking away all external distractions and noise can help you reach a meditative state much faster and more easily than if you are focusing on trying to block out your environment.

+ Do make yourself comfortable: The trick is to be comfortable enough that you can relax but not so comfortable that you fall asleep mid medi! I prefer lying down as it allows me to relax more deeply into my practice, however I always try to meditate either in the morning or during the day. If I lie down to meditate before bed, 9 times out of 10 I'll fall asleep (forget counting sheep, try meditating instead if you're having trouble sleeping!).

+ Do start off small: Another common mistake many people make is trying to meditate for long periods of time when they are first starting out. Consistency is key here, and you are far better off starting out with 5-10 minutes of daily meditation than trying to meditate for 30 minutes plus in one sitting. You want to try and turn this into a daily practice that eventually becomes so natural that you can draw upon this state even when you're not sitting in meditation. Once you are successfully meditating consistently for 5-10 minutes a day, you can begin to slowly increase the amount of time so that it is a gradual sustained process.

+ Do join a group: Joining a meditation group can be a brilliant way to not only learn tried and tested meditation techniques but also to practice in the calming collective energy of the group. Beginners often find it easier when meditating in a group for this reason as it can help you drop more easily into a peaceful state.

 

Don'ts

+ Don't have expectations: Going into your meditation with no prior expectations means the practice can be a completely organic process. Whatever needs to unfold can do so without resistance or pressure for a certain outcome, and you will undoubtedly gain the most benefit from having a flexible and willing attitude.

+ Don't judge or compare yourself: It can be so easy mid medi to allow thoughts to creep back in prompting frustration with yourself. Our inner critic goes wild with all the reasons we'll never be able to meditate and just like that all the hard work seems to come undone. However part of the process is allowing your thoughts to enter the mind without judgement and dissolve again as you surrender deeper into your practice. Become the observer of your thoughts, but don't allow their presence to sway you. Acknowledge their presence and allow them to be released without a second thought.

+ Don’t give up after trying and “failing”: In my eyes there is no such thing as failure, every set back is just inevitability a part of the learning process. You can't expect to become a master of something the first time you try, why would meditating be any different. So many give up before they have even given it a chance. Continue coming back to your practice and experimenting with new techniques until you find something that really works for you. With persistence anyone can become a successful meditator!

+ Don’t have a preconceived idea: The reason I feel so many people admit defeat before even trying is because they think they already have a good understanding of what meditation actually is. Forget everything you ever knew about the subject and just make your aim to breathe, relax and become still. Don't be rigid in your ideas and beliefs and remember to keep an open mind going into all new experiences (meditation or otherwise!).

 

5 ALTERNATIVE MEDITATION PRACTICES

1. Have a dance

Dance, movement and my embodiment practice has been the number one way that I can connect to a place of inner stillness. This might seem weird considering all the external activity, however moving in a free flow way allows your energy to carry you into every new move. The focus is solely on the body and the sensations and that arise from within. It takes you completely out of your head into a state of pure feeling and bliss.

2. Listen to music

Music really was my doorway into meditation. I struggled for a long time with meditation before I found a practice that worked for me. I truly believe this wouldn't have come about were it not for my love of and deep connection to music. As I wrote about it here, my experiences listening to music were some of the first instances that I started to deepen the connection to my higher self. It can be incredibly soothing to the mind and body, so pick a mellow track and allow yourself to get lost in the melody.

3. Star gazing or cloud watching

I may be a complete and utter dreamer, but to me there is something so incredibly calming and peaceful about gazing up at the sky. Whether it be day or night, clouds or stars, turning my attention upwards to the vast expansive nature of the sky is enough to stop my thoughts dead in their tracks. There is a distinct stillness in that space and by simply looking up we can tap into the peace of the infinite vastness that surrounds our planet.

4. Body scans

I've often found a simple body scan meditation or Yoga Nidra practice to be one of the most effective ways of dropping into meditation. Once again this works because it takes your awareness away from the thinking mind into a state of feeling and presence. Often our bodies experience stress, anxiety and tension due to our thought patterns and conditioning. Stopping the obsessive chatter of the mind through this kind of awareness allows your body to release into a relaxed and peaceful state.

5. Tantra

The thing I love about the practice of Tantra is that more than anything it really is just a state of being and extends itself far beyond the scope of sexuality. My interpretation of Tantra is that it is the ability to see every moment as an invitation to deepen our human experience through ecstatic connection to life. Turn your attention to your senses and allow yourself to become hyper aware of your surroundings and experiences. You'll be absolutely amazed at how even the most mundane of tasks can become incredibly vibrant when experienced through the fullness of presence.

 

[Original image credit - adapted by Jessica Kali]

Honouring Yourself: How to Set Healthy Boundaries

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I'd be hard-pressed to name all the things I love about being a life coach. Working so intimately with other women in a 1:1 environment definitely has it's perks. I’ve been fortunate enough to have developed heart-felt relationships and connections with so many inspirational sisters, all the while learning a great deal about the issues countless women face on the daily. A large number of which hold relevance in my own life.

This has definitely been the case recently. The message of boundaries has been coming through loud and clear to me. It’s presence in my client sessions has illuminated the need to assess my own boundaries when it comes to my personal life and business.

For the past 9 months I’ve really upped the ante with my self-care practices. For the first time in god knows how long I’ve finally made self-care a big priority in my life. However when it comes to creating solid boundaries for myself, I seem to be falling short of the mark. I’m still noticing myself falling into old habits and unhealthy behaviour patterns.

The link between self-care and boundaries is irrefutable. I really feel it is impossible for someone to adequately care for themselves if they don’t have certain personal boundaries set in place. Yet for so many women the idea of putting our own needs above that of another is completely unheard and totally frowned upon.

Why has prioritising ourselves become such a taboo subject?

 

THE IMPORTANCE OF BALANCE

As women it can be quite natural to feel the desire to hold space for others in a nurturing way.

Heightened intuitive senses doubled with our innate capacity to provide support sees many women unofficially taking on roles as carers and healers. A sometimes selfless act that requires the needs of another be put above our own personal needs.

Because this feeling is so natural, it can be easy for women to constantly remain in this state. Completely dedicating themselves to serving others, yet neglecting to remember one crucial element in the equation. Themselves.

The state of our own wellbeing is largely influenced by how in balance we are with life. When our physical body is out of balance we get sick, when our mental or emotional bodies are out of balance we experience mood swings and mental illness. The same can be true for the energetic body as a whole.

Remaining in a constant state of giving leaves little time to receive the energy back in some way. When there isn't an equal amount of energy coming in as there is going out, we've got a serious problem on our hands.

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SELFISH VS SELF-ISH

The big issue here is how acceptable it has become to live a selfless life.

It is considered selfish to put yourself first, but I feel a big distinction needs to be made between being selfish and finally starting to prioritise your own needs.

Now I'm not condoning completely disregarding the needs of others around you. My point is that your needs are also of value so naturally they should be considered in the decision making process as well.

You should be aiming for a win-win scenario where the needs of both parties involved are being met in a balanced way.

In choosing to continue to constantly put others needs above your own, you are sending your unconscious mind a very clear message. That you don't value yourself or your time in the same way you value others. And I can tell you right now, that ain't healthy!

The trick is in continuing to support and give to others while balancing the need to receive the energy back in some form in order to care for and support yourself.

Yes sometimes it requires a little problem solving at times, but in most scenarios a win-win outcome can easily be achieved. Unfortunately many women just shy away from this step altogether because they feel guilty about bringing up their needs in the first place.

 

THE NEED FOR BOUNDARIES WITH YOURSELF

In my case, I have done a lot of work already around learning to say no and managing my FOMO (fear of missing out) in these situations. I no longer feel the guilt when I politely decline an offer or have to cancel an engagement for self-care reasons.

However I am noticing my need for boundaries popping up in a more personal way. Although I have now grown accustom to honouring my needs in regards to others, when it comes to my business I have very few boundaries set in place because it's something I absolutely adore working on.

After reflecting on my working habits I realised my lack of boundaries shows up in quite a few ways.

From my long working hours and less than adequate breaks, to taking on too much work and making myself available around the clock for clients. In all honesty there really isn't much I wouldn't do in the name of my business.

Do I enjoy it? Heck yes! Is it serving my highest good? I highly doubt it. I'm sacrificing a lot of rest and self-care time because I am so invested in my work.

My lesson has been to take a step back from everything. To implement some non-negotiable self-care practices and to make some strict guidelines around my schedule and working hours.

Although I strongly dislike the structure of routine, I think in this case it's necessary for me to schedule in time where I just don't work at all (because at the moment my power switch seems to be stuck at "on").

The decision to make all day Saturday and Monday/Friday nights completely work free has me breathe a sigh of relief. Knowing that I have these days to look forward to and that I really deserve to take this time off (without having to feel guilty about it!) makes me feel really good about powering through the rest of the working week.

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So by now I bet you're probably wondering how exactly you can start creating your own healthy boundaries. Well you're in luck sister, because I'm going to lay it out below especially for you...

HOW TO SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

1. Make yourself a priority

We are all equals in this life, and accepting this means acknowledging that your own personal needs should be considered just as important as the needs of another.

It may take a lot of practice to grow accustomed to this idea, however it is completely essential. If ignored not only will you begin to feel emotionally and energetically drained but you also run the risk of total burn out (because you're probably already half way there if you're not prioritising yourself!).

2. Ask yourself this question

If you’re struggling to make a decision and feel swayed by the guilt of expectations, a good question to ask yourself is, “If I deeply loved and cared for myself what would I do?”.

In some situations making yourself available for others will be what you truly feel is in your best interest. At other times your answer will make it very apparent that you need to take a step back for everyone’s benefit.

The thing is, if you never ask yourself these type of questions you’re unlikely to ever feel clear about any future decisions. Your actions will be clouded with guilt rather than a knowing that you're acting in accordance with your heart and for the highest good of all parties involved.

3. Learning to say no

This is a task I quite regularly set for my clients, some of which have never said no or turned down an offer before. Often we allow our decisions to be based upon the expectations we place on ourselves as well as the guilt felt at the thought of letting someone down.

The idea of saying no to someone can send our minds into a panic!

However most of the time we tend to catastrophise situations like this when we play them out in our head. 9 times out of 10 people are actually ok with you saying no, and are often completely understanding of the fact that you are a person too and have your own needs to attend to at times.

4. Offer a solution

To combat the feelings of guilt (because lord knows they still creep in even when you know you're doing the right thing), offer an alternative solution.

If you need to back out of a prior engagement, offer a suitable time to reschedule. If you can't support someone in they way they have asked, what else could you do to offer them support in a way that works for both of you?

Offering this solution is a way of showing the other person that you still deeply care about them and their needs even if you are unable to meet their expectations in this instance.

5. Define your non-negotiables

What do I mean by non-negotiables? These are the practices that you feel are necessary to ensure your overall state of wellbeing.

What exactly would you need to feel you were adequately taking care of yourself?

Do you cherish your weekly yoga class, long for those peaceful ocean walks or hang out for the days you see your girlfriends?

Setting weekly and monthly non-negotiable self-care practices not only aid in maintaining healthy boundaries, they also help you make more empowered choices in your day to day life. Clearly defining your non-negotiables allows you to make decisions with confidence as you already know what is and isn't acceptable in regards to your needs being met.

 

If you take anything away from this post let it be this.

Never forget the importance of your needs.

Never underestimate your astonishing worth.

You deserve to show yourself the same respect and love that you would show another.

You deeply matter.

Please don't ever forget this!

 

In love, light and magic,

jess-sign-off

Becoming a Life Coach: My Spiritual Journey

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I have something very special to share with you today. Some of you may have noticed (as I blasted social media in my excitement) I graduated from my coaching course and am now a certified Beautiful You Life Coach! That’s right, it’s Facebook official so I guess you could say this love affair is getting pretty serious!

Words really can’t describe how huge the past 6 months have been for me. I feel like I’ve just leveled up, reaching the next phase of personal growth, taking my business and life forward into completely uncharted and exciting territories.

The journey of becoming a coach has been my greatest spiritual adventure yet.

For most of you reading this you may be surprised by that comment. However I can honestly say the valuable lessons and healing I've experienced throughout the course have played a crucial role in shaping the person I am today. They not only allowed me to feel comfortable in pursuing my unique coaching niche but have also helped me shift and release the fears that have been holding me back for years.

The course was so thought provoking and soul connecting. Working through the content on a personal level saw me experience countless internal shifts, all of which have led me to where I am today.Just months away from officially launching my business and making my life-long dream a very tangible reality.

Many of my key discoveries have extended far beyond the scope of my business. They have solidified the importance of countless ideas and practices within my personal world, all of which will support me to confidently move forward into the rest of my life.

KEY DISCOVERIES

1. Trust your intuition This was a pretty big one for me. The journey of becoming a coach has been a winding one. It saw me withdraw from another coaching course, at times questioning whether coaching was even for me, followed by taking a huge leap of faith because it felt right.

When I enrolled at the Beautiful You Coaching Academy I didn’t have a permanent income and wasn’t sure how I would support myself and continue to pay for my course fees after my 3 month design contract had finished. It was somewhat of a bold decision, but a knowing stirred deep within my heart and told me that this was the right path for me. Following this guidance ranks top 3 in the most important decisions I’ve ever made.

2. Prioritise your main focus As a self-confessed multi-passionate sister, I use to have a lot of trouble focusing on one task at a time and often struggled to complete projects. I was being pulled in so many directions it made it downright impossible to actually be productive and get anything done.

After accepting the financial loss of withdrawing from my first coaching course, I made a pact with myself that finishing this course and becoming a coach was going to be my number one priority. It turns out this was a very powerful commitment to make as it’s helped guide me through every decision I’ve faced since starting at Beautiful You. I was finally able to narrow my focus down to the one thing I wanted more than anything else, to finally become a coach.

3. When the student is ready the teacher will appear And what a spectacular teacher she was! There's a reason people are raving about this course and I believe it mainly comes down to how absolutely genuine Julie Parker (founder and lead trainer) is. Julie was the perfect mentor, she lovingly guided us through the course work, she stretched us to grow within our businesses, and she also has the incredible ability for seeing each of her trainees in their own unique light (and no doubt every other person she comes across!). Julie delivered heart-driven and soulful content in a completely practical and structured way, the course was everything I had hoped it would be and so much more.

4. Personal healingTo be honest I was a little shocked by the amount of personal healing I encountered during this course. I was not at all prepared for it but lovingly welcomed every insight, shift and transformational experience. Julie must have consulted her crystal ball when she partnered me up with my coaching buddy Edi. In Edi I found a kindred spirit (or identical peas in a pod as she likes to call us). In so many aspects our journey's have mirrored one another, the perfect partnership for helping each other learn, heal and grow. The course alone was worth it to meet this incredible women who has helped me evolve in ways she may never know.

5. Clarity through authenticity I always thought I was comfortable with authentic expression and on a personal level this was completely true. However several weeks into the course I realised I was still conforming to who I thought I had to be as a coach. I desperately wanted to start working with women in a spiritual way (every aspect of my life was moving in this direction), however a part of me honestly didn't believe I could have a successful business in this field because it was so "woo woo". Julie helped me to understand the importance of showing up fully in my light, exactly as I am. I realised I didn't need to appeal to everyone, I just needed to connect with and appeal to the women that deeply needed the gift I had to share with the world.

6. Smash those upper limits I’ve always been a dreamer. Someone who has the ability to connect deeply with a future vision, regardless of how practical it might seem to others. This week it came as a very big surprise to me that I actually have a self-imposed upper limit, a container holding the beliefs of what I think is possible for myself. Sure I can dream, but I was only ever dreaming of mild success. Before now I hadn’t fully opened myself up to the countless possibilities that are actually available to me. So many of those bigger dreams were outside my container, and it wasn’t until those around me helped bring awareness to this that I was truly able to start seeing my potential as a coach. I'm smashing through my upper limit, dreaming bigger and fully realising the incredible opportunities that lay ahead.

6. Your soul tribe will find you I’d say more important than all of the above are the incredible connections and friendships I’ve made since starting the course. Just through two in person training days I was able to strike up friendships with so many other soulful women (and believe me, there are a LOT doing this course), many of which share a vision and purpose close to my own. In the last week these friendships have strengthened significantly and with my soul sisters by my side I honestly feel like I could take on the world if I had to (who run the world? Girls!).

Words really can’t express how grateful I am to Julie and her husband Glenn for taking their own leap of faith bringing this course into existence. It’s impact on my life has been immeasurable and my excitement is tinged with sadness that this chapter of my life has just come to end.

However as one door closes another door opens. I feel I am finally beginning to step into my power as a coach, mentor and healer and this course has ignited something deep within me, a passion fueled fire now impossible to extinguish.

If you're interested in finding out more about the Beautiful Coaching Life Coaching Academy and how you can become a certified coach with them, feel free to get in touch! I can only sing praises for this wonderful school and program, and would be happy to have a chat about it with you.

In love, light and magic,

jess-sign-off
jess-sign-off

The waves of grief: 5 tips for moving through your grief

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Grief is a funny thing. Although they say time heals all wounds, rarely do we ever heal in a linear fashion. Much like the nature of the ocean, grief flows in waves. Sometimes you can predict the impact or even see the wave coming from a distance. Other times it can blindside you, knocking you clean off your feet.

From my own personal experience I’ve found that grief surfaces and presents itself in layers.

I can feel as though I’ve moved through all that needs to be healed and experienced only to find some unforeseen factor awaiting me; the unexpected hit of the next wave.

For some the pain of grief can be unbearable, a searing iron that melts the heart in two. You feel as though you couldn’t fathom the thought of continuing to live beyond your grief. Sometimes it can feel like there’s no end to the grief that continues to surface.

To grieve is to be human.

The process of grieving is as natural to us as the air we breath. We don’t have to think or will it to happen, it just is.

Often we try to resist or control it’s presence in our lives, we believe that to feel emotion and to grieve displays signs of weakness and fragility. Honestly I believe there is nothing stronger than a person who is able to accept the change that life presents them with, completely letting go when necessary.

To resist grief is to resist change, the only constant in our lives, an act that is both destructive and futile.

Dealing with grief can be difficult at the best of times, especially if you are resistant to change.

The more I experience and encounter grief, the more deeply I learn about the process of grieving and of letting go. I am constantly learning and will continue to learn through every new experience. What I've found so far are that certain practice allow me to move though my grief in a much gentler way, helping to ease the overall pain and length of the experience.

Below are my top 5 personal practices for moving through grief. These tips don't just limit themselves to the grieving process though. You can draw upon them at any time, especially when faced with life's challenges and periods of change.

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5 TIPS FOR MOVING THROUGH YOUR GRIEF

1. Feel and move through your emotions You’re going to hear me say this a lot, but I am super passionate about spreading this message. You can’t expect to truly free yourself from emotion and grief until you have allowed it to surface and be released. The only way to release emotion is to feel and move through it. What is resisted does not leave, it remains buried deep within you and continues to play out in other areas of your life until it's released. The grieving process helps to purify and cleanse ourselves from the pain and emotion that surrounds our grief, allowing us to let go and move forward with our lives.

2. Take a shower This might seem like a weird inclusion, but for me this is one of my go-to practices for dealing with grief. When my father passed I spent a solid 2 hours in the shower, weeping under the water. Just as the water cleansed my body, so too did my tears cleanse the pain that I felt deeply within. Showering in this situation was not only comforting but it also symbolised a purification process, releasing the emotion and letting the pain of the event wash out of me.

3. Talk to someone Please don't ever feel that you have to contain your grief. We are all perfectly human, and chances are your best friend, partner, parent or sibling have also experienced grief in some form or another. They may not have lived through your exact circumstance, but they have likely lived through their own pain and grief on a similar level. Allow them to support you and to hold a safe space for you to open up and fall apart in if you need to. Just talking to someone by sharing your struggle and pain with another being can help greatly in healing and releasing emotion that has built up around the experience.

4. Give it time Don’t expect your wounds to heal instantly and your grief to disappear overnight. As I have said previously, healing is not linear and although your grief will heal in time it is very common for it to heal in stages. Each stage represents a different layer or belief around the situation, until finally all that is left is acceptance. You may deal with many of the stages early on in the process, however more healing can occur long after you feel that your grieving process has finished.

5. Be gentle and don’t judge yourself We are always so quick to judge and criticize ourselves. This is especially true when we feel that we've moved on from a situation and are shocked to find that our grief continues to surface in new ways. This is not the time to be hard on yourself. Judging the situation and your perceived lack of control over your emotions will only make matters worse. Be gentle and show yourself the love you deserve and most definitely need to move though the situation with greater ease.

 

I really hope you've found the above tips helpful. If you feel that you need added support with your own grief, please leave a comment below or jump on over to the Magic Makers Sisterhood Facebook group and share your story with our sisters. We are a loving and deeply nurturing community and you are completely free to open up within our safe space without fear of judgement.

In love, light and magic,

Jess xx

[Image Source: Giulia Bersani Flickr]

Music and movement: Portals to divine connection

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I’ve always had an unusual connection and love for music. I grew up in a family of musicians. My sister and I both sang and tried our hand at the odd instrument. My mum sang, played piano and guitar, and for any of you that know my step dad (composer, choir leader, teacher and can play just about any instrument he can get his hands on), well enough said! Yes from a very young age I was thrust into the world of music and performance.

I was dragged along to Woodford Folk Festival during my primary school years (I couldn’t fully appreciate it at the time, sorry folks!), a member of every choir in the local area, and even tried my hand at an opera or two (even though the thought of singing in front of a audience terrified the pants off me!).

In all honestly up until quite recently I took at lot of my experiences and this connection for granted.

I thought it was normal for people to feel the way I did when I heard a melody that resonated with me. I assumed they too could feel the same energy that would send shivers up my spine and cause the hairs on my arm to stand on end. That everyone could instantly be transported to a state of pure joy and bliss from the simple placement of a perfectly positioned note in a song.

Music had the ability to tap into a part of me which at that point I didn’t even know existed.

These fleeting musical moments were in fact the first of many experiences that allowed me to instantly connect to my higher self or soul.

Lately I've become a little obsessed with the practice of dance as a tool for healing and awakening (more on that in another post!). I’ve found it to be a deeply transformational experience that has helped to lift denser negative emotions out of my body with ease. This whole time I was under the impression that it was the dance itself that I loved, I mean when I dance it feels damn good!

It wasn’t until a recent call with my life coach that I realised maybe, just maybe, I'd had it all backwards. That it wasn’t exactly the dance I was connecting to, but in fact the music that was playing while I danced.

For me the dance lost all meaning if not accompanied by the perfect song.

The way I see it music and dance go hand in hand. Dance is the form my body takes to express the music moving through my being.

Music is not something that simply moves me emotionally, it is a complete experience for me on every level. It permeates my soul, as it radiates through my entire system. Mind, body and spirit.

I have started to view both music and dance as sacred practices for divine connection. No longer do I just allow the sound to be processed through my ears, I eagerly drink in the vibrations allowing them to travel through my body connecting me to a much deeper experience.

The subject of music as a means for spiritual connection doesn't seem to be discussed that much in the online world. Every second article or blog post is about the benefits of meditation or the latest yoga fad, some of these even include reference to the use of mantras and sound for spiritual awakening. However I have never seen anything on the topic of every day music (pop, rock, electronic etc.), and how it can be used as a portal for connection between you and your soul.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject. Have you ever had a spiritual experience while listening to Beyoncé (because if you have we should definitely talk)? Have you ever used music as a means for divine connection and if so what were the songs that deeply resonated with you?

In love, light and magic,

Jess xx

The Strength in Sisterhood

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When I first started out on the path of healing and spiritual awakening it was a lonely road indeed. From what I can recall not one of my friends was following the same path as me (or at least weren’t publicly announcing it), which made the journey seem all the more tiresome and totally uncharted. I experienced countless moments where I honestly felt I was walking this path alone.

Now this feeling sat with me not for the fact that I was the only one heading in this direction, I could tell from my online findings that there was quite a big movement starting to occur in this area. However many of those people had already found their community (or tribe as many spiritualists like to call it), and I felt like an outsider looking in on this world.

You see the path was lonely because I felt I didn’t have the intimate support that I craved while doing this work.

I didn’t have any close girlfriends (or boyfriends) that understood what I was going through. I didn’t have a tribe of women I could turn to for deep emotional support, much less physical support of any kind.

I felt supremely alone in a sea of uncertainty.

It wasn’t enough for me to just be another face in the movement, I wanted to feel like I was a part of something much more special. I wanted to feel like I deeply mattered to others, and in return I wanted to show others how deeply they mattered to me.

Fast-forward 19 months to present day and I am only now starting to feel like I am truly a part of a community.

I spent a good amount of that time cultivating enough courage to actually start putting myself out there in an authentic way. All in the hopes of running across a like-minded sister or two that just got me deeply. You know, on that soul level.

After months of putting myself out there I can happily say I have finally found my women, and what’s even more exciting is the circle doesn’t end there.

Every chance encounter, event, or acquaintance is an opportunity for deep heart-felt connection and life-long friendships.

All that’s really required is a sense of openness, curiosity and a sprinkle of vulnerability.

As the eternal free spirit that I am, my soul sisters could never be confined to the parameters of just one group of women (that may work for some, just not for me).

My soul sisters come from far and wide and have manifested in my life in all manner of ways. Through the predictable road (courses and workshops) to the not so predictable road (the women’s toilet’s at a Sydney trance event).

These are the women that upon meeting each other there is an undeniable knowing that our souls decided to be friends long before we physically met one another. They are the women I share a deep heart connection with, just kindred spirits trying to navigate the sometimes rough terrain of life together.

Although I am so grateful for these connections, it saddens me to know there are women out there going through the exact same thing I was experiencing last year.

They are desperately seeking intimate support from other women, but haven’t a clue as to how they begin forming these magical connections.

Too many women are forced to deal with their fears, challenges and hardships alone.

Too many women are celebrating those sometimes seemingly small forward moving steps all on their own.

And far too many women have given up on their dream of creating a blissfully fulfilling life. Because without the unwavering support of a like-minded friend, having the courage to go after what you truly want can be freaking hard.

I'm telling you now beautiful, it really doesn't need to be this way. The meaningful connections you're craving so deeply happen to be a lot closer than you may have initially thought.

And I want to help bridge that gap.

That is why I created a Facebook group for this very purpose. To connect like-minded women while providing a supportive web of love for any sisters in need.

The Magic Makers Sisterhood is a sacred online haven open to any sisters that are looking to explore their inner magic and create meaningful connections with other like-minded spirited women. The community is a place for sisters to celebrate our wins together, seek support during times of struggle and to just connect with one another so that we realise the greatest truth, we are never alone.

If you feel called to connect with like-minded women in a truly authentic and supportive way, I invite you now to join us in the Sisterhood.  We don’t discriminate or exclude any women, our soul purpose as a group is to help lift others up so that they have the necessary support they need to start living their best life.

And quite frankly sister, we'd love for you to join us!

In love, light and magic (and sisterhood),

Jess xx

[Image Credit]

Right thing, Wrong time: Divine Timing

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I have an important lesson I want to share with you all today. This lesson has been coming through loud and clear over the past couple of days, showing up in all manner of ways (blog posts, videos and advice). It's frequency over the past 24 hours has been a total reality check for me. Although at first it seemed like the lesson was in relation to my love life, it's become quite apparent that this lesson is universal and stands true in any area of life. The lesson is in relation to timing. If a seemingly right thing comes into you life at the wrong time, is this thing right or wrong for you?

My personal insight has led me to this answer. Absolutely no, it isn't right.

Some of you may object to this bold statement, I mean if something feels and looks right then surely it must be perfect for you, right? This may seem even more true if the thing in question is something you have been desiring for quite some time. So in response to any of your objections I'll say this...

Ever heard of divine timing? If something is truly right for you, the timing will not be off. You won't have to wait around for it or put pressure on yourself to make something happen. It will happen at the exact time it needs to because you are truly meant to experience whatever it brings into your life. Now that's not to say the thing in question might not be right for you at another point in your life. There might be a reason it feels so perfect for you and why you feel so drawn to it. However at this point in time, it would do you a lot of good to just release the control and let it go.

As humans we love to control outcomes, especially when it has a direct affect on our lives. We like to think that we know what's best and have a tendency to get very caught up in how perfect we think a certain person or experience is to us. Deep down I do believe we ultimately know what is right, however sometimes we can be a little delusional and get caught up in the fairytale of how we think things should or could be.

An example of this that I would love to share with you is a group mentoring program that I had my heart set on attending (I've decided to keep talk of my love life to a minimal in this post!). Everything about this program spoke to me. I had been wanting to work with this particular mentor for well over a year, yet knew financially one on one sessions with her were out of the question (at least for now). The course itself was specifically tailored to me, I felt like this program was the answer to my prayers!

Everything seemed fine and dandy except for the timing of the program.

Firstly I didn't have the time needed to save enough for the cost of the program. If I wanted to attend I would need to sign up via a payment plan which was ultimately more expensive (and in addition to my monthly coaching course fees was going to put me in a pretty tight situation financially).

Secondly as someone who is dedicated to personal growth I am already signed up to 3 other online programs that would all overlap with the timing of this program. I love to keep myself busy but I highly doubt whether it would be beneficial for my health or the other programs I'm enrolled in that I add another one into the mix.

Lastly I am only now in the process of gaining clarity around my coaching niche and who it is I would love to work with. I feel so compelled to really hone in on this in order to get crystal clear about who I really want to serve through my work and how to best do that. I feel like the program would be perfect if I had already gone through this process and had that added clarity to make the most out of the incoming information.

I keep thinking to myself, if only the program was starting 2 or 3 months later. It seems so utterly perfect for me and I know I would gain so much from working with this mentor. However the reality of the matter is, the program doesn't start in 2 months (or even next month), it's starts now.

When I feel into whether this is right for me or not, I can tell in my heart it isn't. At least not right now. All the elements effected by timing would have seemed insignificant to me if it was. I would have felt a strong pull to make it happen no matter what, just as I did in the lead up to Peru. The desire was there but the inspired pull was not.

So it's time to get really honest with ourselves. Is it really the right time? You're going to need to dig deep if you want the truth, you wont often find answers like this at surface level. No doubt your ego will jump in and tell you all the things you'll be missing out on if you let the experience go.  I'm here to tell you otherwise.

When the right thing at the right time enters into your life, that is when you'll know that this experience is truly perfect for you. There is nothing that will be able stand between you and your thing, and everything you experience will draw you closer into alignment with that which you desire not further away. It's time to release control, surrender to the timing and remember that what was meant for you will never miss you, and what misses you was never meant for you.

In love, light and magic.

Jess xx

Why I broke my own rules

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I've got a confession to make. I’ve done something a little naughty. Some of you may remember this post a few weeks back where I openly declared to you my intention to undertake a 30 day celibacy challenge. I’m happy to say that the challenge lasted all of two weeks before I broke my own rules. Now you might be asking why I seem so happy about this. Please let me explain…

Something about this challenge didn’t sit right with me from the start. I’m not saying that the challenge was a bad idea, hell I think the lessons I’ve learnt have been invaluable. However I didn’t learn the lessons from sticking to the challenge, I learnt them from breaking it.

For the entirety of 2014 I acted in accordance with my guiding feeling of freedom. Something I felt compelled to call more of into my life. Completely open, fluid, expansive and unrestricted. My motivation was coming from a different place the moment I decided to undertake the challenge.

I feared a lack of self control in certain situations and to remedy this the idea of complete abstinence was like a godsend to me. I didn’t realise it at the time but the challenge was 100% an avoidance strategy. It allowed me to completely push that element of self back into the shadows, hidden away for the next 30 days. Or so I thought.

The night I broke the challenge waves of emotion hit me, and let me tell you it wasn't pretty. As someone who feels emotion strongly at the best of times, I was bombarded with feelings of discomfort and judgement. This was accompanied by a deep sense of knowing that everything was happening just as it needed to. To say I was confused is a complete understatement.

I didn’t know whether to be happy about what had just taken place or utterly disappointed that I hadn’t been able to follow one seemingly simple rule. Breaking the challenge to me represented a complete lack of self respect. Unable to come to any sense of peace that night, I decided to sleep on it.

After waking I noticed the feelings that plagued me were still present from the night before. I did the only possible thing I knew that would help bring me to a state of heightened clarity and peace. I sat in meditation. My practice that morning was long and completely unmemorable, but as a I stood in the shower afterwards the insights started to pour in.

I didn’t feel bad about this at all, in fact I felt amazing. I felt like a total bad-ass breaking my own rules. You see the reason it felt so good was because the rules were completely out of alignment with who I am. It’s not in my nature to live a life of restrictions and rules. I’ve done everything in my power to remove these elements from my life over the past 12 months. No wonder it felt completely wrong to impose such a ban on something as important as sexual energy.

Breaking the rules made me think long and hard about why it was I set the challenge in the first place. What was I really trying to achieve? Other than the obvious avoidance of dealing with my blocks, I feel a part of me was really longing to cultivate a deeper connection through sexual intimacy (either with self or others).

So why do I feel it’s important to share this with you…

Firstly it’s to highlight that we all make mistakes. We make rules and we break them. We do things that cause us to judge ourselves and others. We aren’t perfect because our imperfections are what make us human (so I guess you could say we’re all perfectly human!).

Breaking your own rules does not signify a lack of personal respect and honour. In my case the exact opposite was true. To honour yourself is to do what is right for you in that moment. Not the moment before or the moment after, the present moment.

Secondly, avoidance is not the answer. You can avoid all you want but unless you’re willing to face your fears head on you’ll continuously hit those blocks that prevent you from moving forward with your life.

The sometimes uncomfortable truth that we all have to face is that we can’t run away from our emotions. You either accept and feel, thereby moving through them. Or you resist and bury, which ultimately prevents them from leaving your life for good. The choice is yours and yours alone.

When I look back on the challenge I think of it as a complete success. What I gained from breaking the rules has been far greater than anything that could have eventuated had I stuck to them.

Now it's your turn. It's time to take a look at your own life and identify any areas you may be stuck in because of a self-imposed rules that just don't fit you any more. I challenge you to take that rule and throw it out the damn window! Please share your bad-ass rule breaking in the comments below.

In love, light and magic.

Jess xx

[Image Credit]